when dating

Whenever I date, I need to turn a simple day into a memorable one. My definition for a date is a little different. For me, dating is everywhere. When I spend some time alone with someone special, even if we’re just out doing simple errands, I consider it a date. Sitting together in a waiting area alone with your crush is a date for me. Of course, eating together on a fancy restaurant or watching movies together with her is hardcore dating. Here are some of the things I consider when in a date:

1. Always have a topic. Avoid awkward silences especially if you’re still in the getting-to-know stage. She’ll think you’re moving too fast. Don’t crowd her. Let her be herself.

2. Consider the place. Of course if you two are in a funeral, don’t go talking about her hair. Try avoiding those kinds of places. Don’t go on a date on a hospital. Same with churches. On first dates, I suggest you don’t go to the theater, it’s like your getting serious.

3. Always have your wallet ready. You’ll never know when she’ll be on a mood for a Coke. Try not to spend a lot for her though, it’s not helpful. Don’t let her spend for you unless she insist. Always be sensitive on money matters.

4. Walk. It’s better if you walk together. I find walking helpful on dates. Walk on parks, crowded streets or public markets. Walk where there’s a lot to be seen. Ordinary places become memorable when you’re walking with her.

5. Make her smile. Don’t be corny unless she likes it. Do not touch her. Let her wait for your touch. Tease her gently. Stop if she doesn’t like it. Make her feel comfortable with you.

6. Be sweet. Be nice. Be cool. Be a little aggressive sometimes. Leave an impression. Make her miss the moment she spent with you. Make her want to spend some time with you again.

thoreau and mortgage

I would really want to own my own house now. No, I don’t want to rent. I want to own.

Well for a poor fellow like me, it’s far from possible for me at the moment. I do have my own boarding house which is actually a room with holes in the ceiling and with the bathroom outside. It’s cheap though and near the school.

I guess it’s the sense of independence I’m after. I suggest you try reading Henry David Thoreau’s Walden particularly the chapter Where I Lived and What I Lived For. It talks about his experience living in a secluded cottage for two years, two months and two days trying to study society by detaching himself from it. He didn’t live as a hermit though, he paid visits and received them, too. I kind of think I’m somehow living like Thoreau in my boarding house all by my lonesome.

But I want a house. I’ve been telling my Architecture Student friends of my designs for my house in the future and they simply nodded and shook their heads. Owning a house is expensive. It’s expensive to buy and to maintain.

They suggested I check on this website about mortgage loan where they actually deal with the process. I good that there’s something like this to help those who are interested (like me) but new to the world of housing.

when with her

Here are some of the ways on how I behave whenever I’m with crushes. No, I’m not courting them. I wouldn’t want to. I simply want to settle in the getting-to-know stage. It works, sometimes.

1. Send her message after message. Through email or through text, it doesn’t matter. Make use of the darn technology we have today. But then you could always use the old fashion style like sending it through a cute kid or leaving it on her desk or something.

2. Stalk her. I mean it. Study her every move. You must know the essential things about her and the things that only few people know. Be prepared. You must know what color she likes. What attitudes she abhors and the way she ties her shoelace. Do not court her unless you know the name of her parent’s only child that is not her sibling.

3. When you’re with her, always talk about her. Her, her, her. The spotlight is always on her. She’s the star! Whenever she changes the topic to you, divert the topic back to her. Notice the every little things she does. Compliment her hair, her look, her voice. Flatter her. Flatter with style. Do not be obvious when lying.

4. Do not crowd her. She wouldn’t like it. Don’t send her 214 text messages a day! Do not go and chase her. Don’t be there always. When you’re in a photo exhibit, do not watch at the same picture she’s looking at. Catch her eye when she’s a distance away, don’t look at her when she’s near.

5. Listen. Let her talk a lot. Don’t interrupt her. Nod on the right times. Give good opinions. Let her know you’re listening. Make her feel that you’re interested on everything she says. 

6. Surprise her. Everything must be new! Or rather make it in such a way that old things seem new to her. Surprise her everyday!

quick decisions

I was trained by my parents to be careful in making quick decisions. There’s actually wisdom when they say that our lives are governed by the choices we make. When you play soccer, you’ll understand what I mean.

At this moment, I’m beating the deadlines of my final papers. I’ve got to make a critical paper of Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. I also have to make a critical analysis of one work of our upperclassmen’s thesis using the profound approaches we’re supposed to learn in CL122. I also have to study for my Philippine History and for my American Literature Exams. On top of that I also have to finish the requirements needed for me to join the Dumaguete National Writers Workshop. And all of them are due this week!

Fortunately I’ve scheduled my time in such a way that I can do the things I’m suppose to do. The problem lies on the strict compliance to the schedule. That’s important.

Another problem is money. Along with scheduling, budgeting is also important. I’ve learned to budget 500 pesos for a one-week stay in my boarding house. You have to be very careful with money. It’s good nowadays we already got payday loans to answer for immediate needs. What’s better is its faxless! Check the site for more details.

neruda’s turtle

Here’s one of my favorite poems by Don Pablo Neruda. I like it because of the character in the poem which is, of course, a turtle. The metaphor of the turtle tells us a lot about life. Here’s The Turtle by Pablo Neruda translated by Jodey Bateman.

The Turtle

The turtle who
walked so long
and saw so much
with
his
ancient
eyes,
the turtle
who ate
olives
from the deepest
sea,
the turtle who swam
for seven centuries
and knew
seven
thousand
springtimes,
the turtle
hooded
against
the heat
and  cold,
against
sunrays and waves,
the yellow
turtle
plated
with severe
amber
scales
and feet for catching prey,
the turtle
stopped
here
to sleep
and didn’t know it.
So old
that he kept
getting harder,
he quit
loving the waves
and became rigid
like a clothing iron.
He closed
the eyes which
had defied
so much
sea, sky, time and earth,
and went to sleep
among the other
stones.
 

of assets

Here in the Philippines, the common term for loan sharks is “5-6″. I don’t exactly know the etymology of the term but I guess it’s because if you borrow a 5, you end up paying a 6. It’s when you lending becomes a business. Interests.

I remember my old principal say in her speech that those who lend money with interest would be cursed with serious disease, I don’t know where she got that info but I’m not sure if I’m going to believe her.

Then again, the loaning system isn’t all that bad. I suggest you check pay day loan and understand more of their personal cash advance system. Or why not go to your local bank and learn the protocol.

On the contrary, I think the loaning system is actually very helpful. But on my opinion, it’s only helpful if you help yourself. Poor people are trapped in the mindset of spending what they get on expenses that doesn’t necessarily give back anything. On other words, they spend a lot of money on liabilities.

It’s a basic rule that a lot of people tend to overlook. We should buy assets not liabilites. Learn to distinguish both of them. The normal trend is to work then earn then spend. Maybe we should try to work then earn then buy assets. When the assets starts working for us, then we can stop working and let the money in. Then we can spend.