suffering from the delusion

I am a Creative Writing student in the University of the Philippines Mindanao. That’s plain fact. Whenever someone asks me what course I’m taking in college, instead of answering Bachelor of Arts in English, I’ll simply say Creative Writing. I’ll tell you why.

People go loco whenever we mention our being English Majors. My classmates also has the same dilemma. People tend to be over critical to our english. Some people tend to be conscious with how they speak english when we’re around. They seem to be suffering to the delusion that we’re great experts of the language.

Though we tend to study the complex world of grammar and syntax, that’s not the craft we are really trying to master. We are being trained in the realm of Creative Writing. We may qualify in journalism, editorials, speeches and research work all in english, our forte mainly lies on literature, poems, prose, short stories and plays.

iron man’s biceps preview?

I recently watched Step Up 2 and it was such a blast! The story was a little so-so. Not as amazing as that of the first Step Up but it was quite nice. The dance steps however, was more than fantastic! They actually took it up the next level. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything on you. Believe me, it’s awfully great! I’d rather shut up than tell you what happens in the story. It’s better to see the movie in your own eyes than someone else’s. But if you want my opinion, I’m going to tell you to watch it! Catch it before it’s gone, then again, there’s always the DVDs.

of redwall abbey and upside-down reading

It’s been quite some time since I last wrote a piece of literature. If literature it be. The point is I think I’m starting to slack from writing poems, short stories and flash fictions.

On the other hand, I still haven’t slacked in my favorite hobby–reading!

I’ve aquired some cheap paperbacks on Bookshop outlets in malls. I’ve noticed Brian Jacques work called the Redwall. I was quite fascinated of how he used ordinary animals as characters in his story. He used mice, badgers, voles, rats, etc. Jetcetera! hehe. It’s quite new to me though the work was copyrighted long ago.

Along with Redwall, there are other works of Jacques that are also connected as a sequel or prequel to the Redwall novel. Mossflower, Pearls of Lutra and Salamandastron were the title of the books I’ve bought along with the Redwall paperback. And I’ve only spent 65 pesos for each one of them.

I’m still searching for other books to add up to my starting collection. hehe. If you want to learn more the Redwall series, try visiting their website.

I also started reading one of Bob Ong’s books called “Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?” (”Why do Filipinos Read Books Upside-down?) As usual, it’s written in an informal manner. Ong writes as though he’s just talking. I’ve read some of his books and I genuinely like it. It’s straightforward and frank addressing the different issues of Filipinos. I guess he’s one of my inspiration in starting my other blog “simpleng pagong”.

At least I’m keeping myself busy. But I guess I’ll start writing later. And I do mean writing writing! I have to make a portfolio of my works. hehe.

ciao!

birthmark

Both of your shoulders

covered with light

brown skin

that I wish I did not

kiss

when we were alone

together.

They are like two

conquering hands

clutching you

always—

not

letting go.

It has been there years

before I came

to you.

When will I ever

rid of

the light brown

skin, I would like to

get a thin white

knife

and

pierce your

soft plump skin

down to its

firm flesh.

I envy the

mark

that has

rested

around your

shoulders since your

birth.

a hades mistake

CONDEMNED!!! to roll,

                              rroll, ro-oll,

                                           rrrrOwll…

a BIG boulderrrrrr up-up-up

heaving and sweating

and breeeeeeathing deeeeeeeep and

e x h a l i n g sssllooowwlllyyy…

                                           until

                                you

                   reach

         the

top

of the hill on the underworld—

then the task of sweat and tears

falls down to waste as

you let the

            big fat

                     rock

                          go—

                               roll,

                                 rrowwling..

                                     rolled down

fast(ittooklesstimethanwhenyourolledit)

beautifully and gracefully it

looked like a

drop

of the nectar in the

                       highest mountain

where gods live and bask

in immortality and you

live your sentence in hell

as a reward in punishment

as you

                         see

Persephone’s sad face

                        brighten up

smiling and laughing at the foolish wise you.

 

Note: Here’s one of my poems. It’s based on a Greek Myth. I’ve tried to experiment a lot here. I don’t know, it’s also some kind of legendizing the myth of Sisyphus. The man condemned to roll a rock to a hill in the underworld only to let it roll back down again.

proetry and poese

After taking up CW101 under Prof. Jhoanna Cruz, we’re expected to have decided to the form of genre we’re suppose to focus at. In Creative Writing, we’ve got a lot to choose from. Being a fanatic of this course, I’m actually having this dilemma of what to focus on.

I’m lousy at playwriting! That’s a fact. At first, I was still optimistic in trying it out. I did try my best but I guess it just wasn’t for me. I don’t know. It’s the genre of being in the stage. The fact that the considerations that it’s to be performed rather than be read is quite new to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like staged plays. I actually had my share of experience in performing on stage in my younger days. But the writing of the play itself, hmmmm… I think it’s a no-no for me.

On the other hand, I guess I can consider myself to be a reasonably fair fiction writer. hehe. I mean, I’ve made stories that clicked. They’re not that good but I guess people found some potential in the writing. To be honest, I tend to get material to man’s best friend–the television. That’s the reason why my first short stories were kind of cinematic in a way. I like writing stories. Short stories or short short stories/flash fictions. The thing about fiction is the fact that I have the chance to explain myself in a prosaic way which is quite comfortable.

Poetry, however, is something exotic yet mysterious genre for me. And I’m quite thrilled in learning it. Unlike fiction, I find poetry more difficult and less comfortable. The choice of words, the tone, rhythm, rhyme, meter and other technicalities or non-techinalities are like strings tangled together in my mind. And the thing is, I love it! I love the feeling of playing with words and I kind of feel like I’m falling in love with poetry.

So it’s either fiction or poetry. Where should I focus and concentrate? I like both. I can be good at both. But there’s this feeling that only one should precede the other in my choice. What? Help me.

Poetry or Prose.

wuthering me

Yey! Here’s the conclusion of my Wuthering Heights paper. I’ve passed this paper to my instructor but I still haven’t heard his feedback or even know my grade in British Literature 2. And because I really want some feedback from practically everyone, I decided to post a part of my paper here in my blog. And hopefully, I get some constructive criticism to give me an idea of what could be my grade in this paper. So here goes:

Conclusion

Wuthering Heights is one of the most amazing and awful novels I have ever read. It’s all about love, obsessive and passionate love between two powerful characters. Emily Brontё is to be commended to this marvelous work! It definitely stands out in the literary canon during the Victorian Period.

Her characters are either very whole or very flat. She made rich characters like Heathcliff, Catherine, Edgar and Hindley. But he also made flat ones like Mr. Earnshaw or the Lintons’ parents.

The plot is very devious and scheming like Heathcliff. Brontё has succeeded in making her characters alive. Her characters are quite consistent and life-like. Though there is of course the hint of being eccentric in her work, Brontё made it in such a way that her message about life and love is told to the reader.

The novel centralized to the plot. After the significance of one character has expired, Brontё immediately eliminates them. Examples of this scenario are the death of Mr. and Mrs. Earnshaw, Mr. and Mrs. Linton, Isabella and Linton Heathcliff. Brontё’s killing of these characters are so sudden that it actually sounds too much of a coincidence.

Wuthering Heights is the kind of novel that would leave you astounded, amazed and at the same time creeped out. It was said before that Wuthering Heights was a work of a mad person.

The novel is very intriguing with its themes and motifs. Considering the fact that it was made in the Victorian Period where propriety is observed, I would say that Wuthering Heights is one of the best works in that time.

Until now, it still does not fail to get the admiration of young readers of today’s generation. Wuthering Heights has definitely worthy enough to be called as one of the greatest additions to literature.

nursing summer

I really feel bad for my friends who study under BS Nursing. They’re required to attend summer classes. Some wouldn’t be able to join me and my other friends in doing things we usually do in the summer. I really sympathized on how intense the course really is. I mean after all, the science of dealing with patients isn’t a joke.

Speaking of medical related courses, I suppose because of the popularity of BS Nursing, we tend to overlook other courses like that of a pharmacy technician. The career is just as important and as vital as that of Nursing.

Surf on this site about pharmacy tech and see the different details regarding it. People everywhere are actually looking into it as an option for their careers. Of course, the pharmacy technician salary is not really that bad! So how about trying to widen our scope regarding medical related courses. You might find the perfect career for you.

in the movies

We are covered in darkness,
you hold me within your arms and I
feel the warmth of your body
against the cold air-conditioned room.

I want to get out and walk but
you’d rather that we stay where you
can simply hold me tight
not letting me go.

My slow and steady breath sometimes
interrupted by your sudden kisses.
I gasp for air once in a while.
Cold air through my nosetrills.

I cannot see your face but I can
only imagine you smiling in the
dark as I am wrapped in this
seat beside you.

The credits come and go and we
are still here. I want to go home.
I will wait for your decision. Let
us go. Let me go.

As you nod your head I feel
my independence lonesome
without you to spoil me
with your cold kisses.

Postcolonial Criticism Notes:
The poem’s setting is obviously at the theatre where the speaker explains her feelings with her companion in their stay there. Of course, there are a lot of clues that suggest the dominance of the companion to the speaker. In a Postcolonial Criticism, it would be fit to assume a colonizing power in the part of the companion towards the speaker. His influence has given an impact of both want of independence but at the same time, want for keeping the colonizer with her. It could be true in situations where people tend to state opinions or stand contrary to what they actually feel.

alone-not lonely

I like to walk on lonely streets at night.
And talk. And walk. And talk again.
With someone whom I know wouldn’t bite
me when we converse, both insane.

Insane! hahaha… haha

whoohoooooo oooooooo!

` ha!
hahaha!

` hahaha!

`
Reader-Response Theory Notes:
The poem seems to talk about insanity and a twisted explanation of being alone but not lonely. In the first part of a poem, we can see that there is a common rhyming scheme of ABAB. However after that part, the poem suddenly transforms into an odd series of remarks that suggests the state of insanity. The reader is somehow placed in a situation where the shift of the form gives way for the impact of the poem.

orb

I would buy
a small black box, tied
with a red ribbon, tight
and secure. And inside

instead of a shining
little engagement ring to
bind you to
me, I will

place a round orb
neatly placed in the
center like a mother
of pearl in her shell.

I no longer need
to be devoured by the
image of

your body,
your face,
your smile.

So take the shiny
wet and slimy
eye

that
you may
see me.

Psycho-Analytic Criticism Notes:
It is obvious in the poem that the orientation of the speaker is somewhat unorthodox. His reaction of being unseen by the person whom we suppose he admired the most is a suggestion of his being eccentric. His literal answer for him to be seen is the resolution emphasized in the poem.

of pigs and coins

Why can’t it be square or triangle?
I remember Bonifacio and the tamaraw
in the octagon before, I liked it
better than today’s little round tokens.

Round and round the circles they
roll as they reached the ground
when they fall, from my the pig
coin bank upside-down, stabbed

by a little butter-knife on the
little hole where the round little
coins seem to come out more than

come in, some dull some shiny.
I wish they were not round and
smooth so the stern faces of dead
heroes who fought to be in the coins

will have reason to frown in the dark
bowels of the smiling butchered pig.

Marxism Notes:
The speaker of the poem is a child which explains the focus on the childish details of the coins and the piggy-bank. However, the child has given his opinion of the matter of poverty as he declares that he wish that the coins are not of round shape. This suggests his resentment to the idea of cycle of money. He’d rather that the coins were simply kept hidden in the piggy-bank.

the kiss

Bottle on the
table, half-filled
with water.

Thirsty Amy
approaches the
bottle.

Her lips touch
the opening and
she drinks.

Jim shows up
smiles. She has
kissed him through

The bottle of
clear mineral
water.

Structuralism Notes:
The structure of this poem is somehow derived from the example of John Donne’s metaphysical poem The Flea. In this case, the conceit is actually the bottle of water in the table that both Amy and Jim partook of. Despite the differences of the form, there are still structural similarities like the male’s will to dominate the female and the phallic symbol which is the bottle also suggest meaning to the poem.

not travelling

Here’s another one of my most favorite poems by master ee cummings. I remember my classmate Aaron presenting this poem in front of our class for our American Literature Class. I have to hand it to him. Even our professor, Dr. Genevieve Jorolan-Quintero remarked that the way he performed it was so good that it felt that it was the poet cummings himself was reciting his poem to us. A big hand for Aaron!  

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

ee cummings

stream of cons

I’m done! I’ve finished passing the necessary requirements for my embarkment. I just wish I won’t get rejected. I really want to be part of the workshop. Oh well, I’ll just cross my fingers here.

For the whole day I’ve been typing and typing and typing. Encoding my aunt’s hand-outs for their month long seminar about Early Childhood. When I’m not typing, I’m playing Minesweeper. It’s probably the only computer game I’m good at except perhaps Solitaire. I know that just sound pathetic.

Inspired by Virginia Woolf and William Faulkner, I’ve started reading books with the “Stream of Consciousness” technique. It’s a way of writing where its the writing is not necessarily linear or logical. It’s actually topsy-turvy but it shows how candid and how the mind actually works. It works like crazy hell!

For example, I’m typing at the moment but I’m actually thinking about the blue dirt in my third toenail. A human’s mind is like a multi-tasking surfer. It works simultaneously. That’s basically more or less the Stream of Consciousness.

Read Woolf’s The Mark on the Wall its a long long work but it all revolve around the goldarned mark on the wall which in the end looks like a snail for her. Cool huh?

Some writers resolve on the Stream of Consciousness because of their deep dark desire to deviate from language and grammar. Some don’t use punctuation marks and doesn’t follow the right spelling and syntax of the language. I tried doing it, check my other blog not correct but correctless.

You may find it weird and odd but you know what, I wouldn’t care. It’s all my brain. Just for the record, NO! I didn’t bother editing any of the posts there. If you want nothing but random words and thoughts, that blog is it.